“Your success depends on the uncomfortable conversations you’re willing to have.”

It sounds so simple until you start applying it to your own life... then it stings when it finally settles in.

I found this quote from a Reddit post almost a year ago now. A guy shared his experience trying to go back to college. He had already earned most of the credits needed for his degree and was hoping to finally finish. I'm sure you know the usual or have at least been there yourself like I have: go to college, drop out, want to finish college, go back to college drop out, repeat. He applied online, just like anyone would, and what he got back was a cold, impersonal rejection letter. No explanation. No room for discussion. Just no.

He vented to his boss at the time, who gave him the blunt advice above: “Your success depends on the uncomfortable conversations you’re willing to have.” Followed up with basically, "Go back in person, and tell them you want in. There's no reason they shouldn't take you back to finish your degree."

So, he did. He went to the department, asked to speak to someone, and laid out why he should be readmitted. Easy enough, and they let him back in.

That story has stuck with me ever since I read it.

Because it’s so much easier to wait until we feel “ready.” Until we have the perfect resume, the ideal portfolio, the polished pitch. It’s easier to avoid the discomfort that comes with uncertainty or possible rejection. But I’ve been realizing more and more lately: if I want to move forward—whether that’s with freelance writing, publishing, or expanding my reach as an author—I can’t wait to feel ready. I can’t just sit back, hoping someone will notice my work. I have to be the one who speaks up, who walks in, who starts the uncomfortable conversation.

Yes, I could set up an Upwork or Fiverr profile (which I have done and recently deactivated). I could wait until I’ve built more client work or polished samples. But the truth is, those things won’t build themselves. I have to reach out to the publications I believe align with my voice and my interests. I have to submit the pitch, write the cold email, and follow up when I've heard nothing back.

This all plays into content creation as well. Creating content online—whether I'm marketing my book or putting my opinion out there—was never my plan. I just want to write. I want to write books. I want to write articles. I want to start my own publication someday. But I can't do any of what I want without putting myself out there and feeling uncomfortable and awkward about it. If I want to be a full-time writer, I need to make that happen myself.

Success comes from the most persistent person in the room. The person who keeps showing up, even after no. Even when it’s hard—especially when it’s hard.

Current Reads

I have abandoned a good handful of books, and I recently added two more to the list. You guessed it: the two I mentioned last week and the week before. Lady in the Tower by Alison Weir and Cleopatra: A Life by Stacy Schiff. 

Now, not to say I won't get back to them someday. I actually have a separate "bookshelf" on my Goodreads titled "Abandoned" that I plan to read eventually. That "eventually" may not come for a few years, but I do plan to try again.

You might be thinking, "AJ, you DNF'd an audiobook? You didn't have time to just listen to it?" The reality is... no, I do not, actually. Between my full-time job, my home life, appointments, and completing the final-final edits for Hollow: The One Who Remains, I can't simply listen to an audiobook during those times.

What I can do is read before I go to sleep, because that is when I have available free time. Regarding control specifically, I picked up The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. I picked it up, because I'm in the mood for something with themes of control that was written before 2000. I figure since this is such a famous literary piece, it seems perfect and really focuses on control within personal, societal, and psychological aspects.

Reading Recommendations

Staying on the theme of control, I’m taking a moment to toot my own horn and recommend my book Can’t Control.

This book is more than just a why choose, dark romance. It looks at control in a variety of ways, different in each character. How to take back control when chaos reigns. Control can mean obsession. It can be vulnerability masked as strength. Can’t Control taps into all of that.