This Week’s Ambitions & A Personal Story
I recently submitted a query to Harper’s Magazine to write a non-fiction article. This article will be written regardless of a rejection from them, as I plan to query the article idea to other publications that have potential to accept it. This query to Harper’s Magazine is more than a hopeful acceptance for their magazine, but it’s also a way for me to get a feel of how long it takes to receive a response from them, regardless of the outcome. I’m also hoping to get some pointers in the rejection, if that’s something publications do. Either way, I’ll know I need to make some changes.
Speaking of changes, I also had to make some changes to my schedule. This week is very different than what a typical week had previously been looking like, because of course it was. Every time I feel like I’ve gotten myself into a routine that works for the situation, the situation ends up changing, and I have to adapt appropriately to be able to complete my needs and wants for the week. As of now, I have decided that I will be creating my schedule week by week, as I have also looked at upcoming weeks and there are several things that are out of the norm.
Now for my personal story I want to share with you all. I had a wonderful friend in middle school; one of those outgoing people that figuratively takes the hand of an introvert and says, “we’re going to be best friends.” Through the years, we separated. Life got in the way, we both went through changes, switching careers, moving states, awful relationships; the usual every twenty-something typically goes through.
When we reconnected, we both lived in the same state again. Spent lots of time together, spoke almost every single day. We both helped each other with things we needed and supported each other in our endeavors. She grew to really enjoy art, and she painted regularly. One day, she offered to paint me something. I didn’t have many ideas, but we came up with something together, and she told me she would make it however large I wanted as long as I bought the canvas. Fair enough, so I purchased a large one, one that would take up a significant portion of whatever wall I tacked it to. I asked her if she needed paint, but she declined, letting me know that she had plenty. I waited and I mentioned it in passing a few times, to which she let me know she would begin outlining the painting soon. And then I waited more… but I didn’t remind her about my painting again, because I didn’t want to bother her about it or make her feel like I was nagging her. I wasn’t paying for the piece; I wasn’t paying for her time; all I did was purchase the canvas.
Eventually, I moved again, but we still kept in touch. We sent each other gifts for our birthdays and during the holiday seasons. One day, I realized that I never heard about that painting ever again. It took me a few months after moving to remember it, and when I asked her what happened to that canvas I bought—reminding her of the painting we had in mind—she told me that it was gone. She had no idea what happened to it and hadn’t seen it in months.
I tried not to be upset. I wasn’t out a significant amount of money, but it was disappointing, nonetheless. I wasn’t even upset about the money; I was more upset that it seemed like she forgot about me. I was disappointed.
Regardless, I let it go, and we kept in touch. We still sent each other gifts, but eventually, I stopped receiving any. Now, I wasn’t bothered by it at first. Initially, it was my birthday that was forgotten, but I continued to send gifts on her birthday. Gifting has always made me happy and hearing how excited she always was about receiving thoughtful gifts always put a smile on my face. But not long after, I stopped receiving gifts for the holidays. I mentioned it once after my holiday gift was sent to her, and she told me she was going to send mine out soon. She told me this multiple times actually.
One day, she was on the phone with me when she received the last gift I sent her for the holidays, and she said, “I am looking at your package right now. It’s sitting on my counter already wrapped. I just need to make it to the post office.” It took two birthdays and two holidays passing before I stopped sending gifts. I never received anything in the mail after that phone call. She didn’t seem to notice that I stopped sending anything, and if she did, she didn’t say anything—probably because she would have realized what’s been happening. We also stopped talking regularly, and again, if she noticed my absence, she didn't say anything.
The point of this story isn’t about the gifts. It isn’t about me being disappointed that she didn’t send me anything for my birthday or the holidays. The point of this story is the disappointment I felt that she was constantly telling me something she was going to do that never happened.
Many times in my life with several different people, I have been disappointed in a similar way. Someone tells me on multiple occasions that they are going to do something—send me a gift, read my book and leave a rating or review, email me something important… the list continues from there.
I don’t know if I’ve ever disappointed someone in a similar way, but I’m sure I have in my past at some point. This is the same reason that I write everything down. Everything that I say I’m going to do and everything that someone else believes is important to tell me that needs to happen. All of it gets written down in my calendar or sticky note app.
A decade has passed since that phone call, and ever since, I have tried my hardest to not be a disappointment. I don’t want anyone to be upset with me in that way; it was hard enough on my end feeling it. I wouldn’t want to make anyone else feel that way, and if I have in recent years, I am truly sorry. I never meant it.
Reading Recommendations
This section is now not only going to be dedicated to book recommendations that I have but will also be for any other type of publication that I see fit or have recently fallen in love with. For example, this week, I don’t have a book recommendation, as I haven’t read anything new. But I do have a reading recommendation for those of you who are into technology: the app Tech News pulls in many new articles from a variety of publications into its app. Everything from AI to vehicles, hardware and software updates, cryptocurrency and space. I will say some of the articles aren’t always tech related, as some of them seem to be about government updates or subscription service changes. But as the app is called, it is mostly "tech news."
My Current Read
Bulb by Nicholas Turner. I’m reading it on my kindle app, so I might not be able to finish it before my Kindle Unlimited subscription “pauses” for the next month, but it will be waiting there for me when my subscription resumes. My next physical book that I plan to read is a toss-up between two: If he had been with me by Laura Nowlin and TekWar by William Shatner. I previously heard that his TekWar series could be read in any order but now I’m hearing otherwise. I’ve only got four of the books but apparently there are nine! So, I suppose I’ll start from TekWar and figure out where I can go from there and whether I need to purchase another book or find it available somewhere.
Recent Finds Unrelated to Reading
Atlas//Below is a band I have recently fallen in love with, and their logo is also the image for this week's blog. I’m actually doing an interview with them soon, and I’m way too excited about it! Their music really impressed me when I saw them live with Dark Divine, and some of the songs have a lot of emotions within them and one song for sure that is about suicidal ideation, as stated by their singer, Gino.
The article that I’ll be writing about with them will be focusing on mental health within the music scene and reasons or stories behind why they wrote certain songs or wrote music a certain way. My pitch sounds much more sound than that explanation, I promise!
Recent TV Shows & Movies
MasterChef has finally returned! Granted, it’s been on for a few weeks now, but it was interrupted when the 2024 Summer Olympics began. But now, it’s back! I’m certainly not a chef, and even though I can cook, my limit in the kitchen is thirty minutes before I start getting frustrated. However, I truly enjoy watching anything Chef Ramsay is in and watching some of these chefs is incredible. The recipes they come up with on the spot—unbelievable!